Things said at Meetings (volume 1, 1999):
1. It's the golden rule, "He who has the gold rules."
2. It 's Murphy's Law.
3. It's Murphy's law at its finest.
4. It's O Tool's Law, Murphy was an optimist.
5. The meeting sucked but the cookies were good.
6. I'm only here for the donuts.
7. Looks like this subject is turning into a pissing contest.
8. Looks like he's got his tit in a wringer on this one.
9. We had a good meeting until we started talking about funding, then it went to hell.
10. The presenter has his crank stretched across the table.
11. He's is going to get all bloodied up during his presentation.
12. They're about to throw rocks at him.
13. The presenter is digging himself a bigger hole.
14. If he brings that up he's going to open a can of worms.
15. When he brought that up he opened Pandora's box.
16. We need to do something that will make the design more robust.
17. The theory is OK but the method is all wrong.
18. This design improves robustness.
19. The presenter needs a lesson in making view graphs.
20. I wish that the presenter would just shut up and sit down.
21. We need a sacrificial lamb to present this problem.
22. There are no sacred cows in this program.
23. Let's hope that the boss walks out of the room during our presentation.
24. I'm going to send him a nasty E-Mail on that.
25. He may go home to a pink slip after that remark.
26. Let's sneak out before the break or the donuts will be gone.
27. Let's put him on just before lunch - that way, no one will ask any questions when he's finished.
28. They have color charts, better cut back on their funding.
29. Oh no, not him, he can turn a ten minute pitch into an hour.
30. The boss is nodding out.
31. He's fishing for answers.
32. This has turned into a shark feeding frenzy.
33. I don't want to get into someone else's rice bowl.
34. We'll have to put a working group together to solve that problem.
35. Bad news is not like wine, it doesn't get any better with age.
36. That's not what he said, what he said was this _ _ _ _ _.
37. He's just saying that to kiss butt.
38. He's creating large amounts of vacuum in the vicinity of the boss's butt.
39. Good point sir; I'll have to get back to you on that one.
40. That idea is about as popular as a fart in church.
41. The design can meet the specification, but we can't test it.
42. It's a software problem.
43. There must be Gremlins in the system.
44. It's pretty much a fact.
45. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.
46. The meeting won't go past five, they don't want to miss happy hour.
47. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
48. He's lying through his teeth.
49. We need some bean counters on this job.
50. We need more people.
51. We need more bodies.
52. The emperor has no clothes.
53. He got by on the skin of his teeth.
54. We need a splinter meeting on that.
55. We have the wrong people at this meeting.
56. If we only had the right people at this meeting we could get something done.
57. The only good thing about that meeting was lunch.
58. I'll E-mail you on that.
59. We need a meeting in Florida so that we can go golfing.
60. Have you been smoking dope!?
61. What have you been smoking in that pipe.
62. This meeting is too high level to present that data.
63. If you value your job you'll do as I say.
64. I'll probably be laid off anyway.
65. Blame it on John, he retired last month.
66. That problem has got us wrapped around the axle.
67. It's like teaching a pig to sing, It sounds terrible and the pig doesn't like it either.
68. I want a little sizzle with my steak.
69. I got caught trying to decide whether I want to ride a horse or a camel.
70. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which gets filled first.
71. Quit peeling the onion back, it won't get any better on this one.
72. I don't want to get back to having a family fight in front of the prince.
73. I don't want to be in the critical path on this one.
74. ,and, Oh by the way, . . . . . .
75. We don't have time to word smith this to death.
76. If God gives you lemons you make lemonade.
77. I'm concerned about the verticality of this schedule.
78. Take that and run with it.
79. If we drag our heels long enough the problem may go away.
80. I feel like I've been ridden hard, and put away wet.
81. I don't want you to believe that there are no rabbits left in the hat.
82. This guy couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the sole.
83. It depends on who has the deeper pockets.
84. That may put a fly in the ointment.
85. If you put nine women together, you still can't make a baby in a month.
86. We don't want to stick our necks out too far.
87. We may fall on our own swords on this one.
88. They're going to tear him a new asshole.
89. To the best of my recollection ----yes.
90. I know this slide is like an eye chart, but . . . . .
91. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
92. His presentation went over like a terd in the punch bowl.
93. He swept the floor with him after that.
94. That doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling.
95. Let's take a seat in the back row so we can fall asleep and leave early.
96. This presentation provides a level of detail that was not lacking in the last presentation.
97. What's the long pole in the tent.
98. We need to make sure we have all our ducks in a row on this one.