Phrases Used at Meetings

Things said at Meetings (volume 2, 2012):

“Life goes back to the sandbox and I learned a lot from the sandbox. Bop someone with a fire truck and you get hit in the face with a rock."
“We’ve kept our proverbial head below the lawn mower blades.”
“A lot of the ilities will be redundantly touched.”
“I think the limited functionality during the transition means we can only type with our left hand.”
“The problem is that it’s in English english. You will be able to read the words but you may not understand them.”
“I got some meatball training recently.”
“After 34 years they thought they could teach an old dog new tricks. Let’s see how I bark.”
“You can’t want your cake and eat it if you don’t play the game.”
“Mr. Microsoft may have rejected your presentation on the basis that it makes no sense.”
“We don’t consider this risk to be a bleeding sword.”
“He’s a large mammal like you and me.”
“Everybody had hysterical amnesia.”
“Whoever invented bagels was a genius.”
“We’re going to change Personnel to Green because I came aboard.”
“We still work hard every day; we just don’t get paid as much.”
“I don’t know if it will be a winnable argument because it’s lawyers.”
“What’s the pucker factor on this effort?”
“I’m about to say something that is probably inappropriate but may be funny.”
“If you put 10 people in a room armed with spreadsheets you get 11 different answers and no one can understand anyone else’s spreadsheets.”
“One of the biggest problems is there are humans involved.”
“I don’t have any nerves left.”
“I can’t afford to cream everybody.”
“There are multiple worlds which eventually collide.”
“Their negative training needs to be met with positive maintenance.”
“This is my passion. The rest of this stuff is just ‘Eh’”
“We’re trying to get in synch with something that’s not in synch.”
“We’ve got to get that done in order to do it.”
“One thing we do a lot of here is tweak because tweaking is often necessary.”
“I’m looking for anything that is going to impact you from doing your business.”
“Can everyone bring it down to a low hush or just shut up?”
“I’m pounding it pretty hard.”
“I worked in a shipyard for seven years and I think if they worked at it they could lose a ship.”
“The only thing older than our equipment is our people.”
“That’s one place where we will take credit for something we didn’t do.”
“We talked about this obliquely.”
“This is not a contiguous linear narrative.”
“I’ve got to talk to a whiteboard because I am aggravated.”
“We get three for one bang when we work in this area.”
“Someone feel free to jump on this grenade while I am standing here feeling awkward.”
“You go to war with what you have not what you want.”
“These young kids. They want it quick, they want it fast and they want it all the time!”
“It is incremental because the Big Bang Theory never works. It is a good TV show though.”
“That’s an easy milestone to make unless you fail to meet your own expectations.”
“When people don’t do their jobs and rub us off I get to play. I like to play.”
“The savings this team was able to avoid were phenomenal.”
“The second issue which I’ll start with first…..”
“This is my name. I only have one name that is better.”
“It is so much fun to have a lively discussion about accounting.”
“I’ve heard some mumblings here which is good. It means you’re climbing all over each other. That’s great teamwork.”
“I’m completely uncontaminated by actual experience.”
“We will not have death by Powerpoint, but there will be a few near death experiences.”
“His track record is unblemished by success.”
“Thank you for coming back. I don’t take that for granted.”
“Will the CEO fire himself if he is not doing well?”
“It’s hard to write a best seller on purchasing. It needs more sex.”
“It’s only a lot of reading if you do it.”
“If I’m sufficiently ambiguous everyone will raise their hands.”
“Can you get the people that work for you committed?”
“I feel great about the money.”
“The banks have been affected because they have been playing with things they don’t understand.”
“It’s a beautiful world when everyone is afraid.”
“If clothing is not at least 50% off, I’m not buying it.” “That explains a lot.”
“All of this green stuff is what happened since the last meeting which is a hell of a lot.”
“I need to take a formal action since I can’t trust myself.”
“By the way, you can ask me stuff. I don’t have to just babble on.”
“That’s the first feedback I’ve gotten from you. Good!”
“We’re doing the equivalent of open heart surgery while running a marathon.”
“You have to think in geologic time frames when dealing with management.”
“We are trying to do something a better way in a culture that does not believe in better ways.”
“The world is a random event waiting to happen to you.”
“If we could feel around ourselves.”
“The whole reason we are here is to learn to click a button.”
“I may be putting the chicken before the horse.”
“I’ve had some recent success getting other people to review stuff.”
“The groups that are working those issues are not working those issues yet.”
"We tickle the interfaces and pitch and catch data back and forth."
“We didn’t get to the point of what’s the punchy message from each bullet.”
“I talked to myself multiple times and reordered the list as a result.”
“We are executing construction by nature of demolition.”
“Light generally travels at the speed of light.”
“A Kaizan event is a meeting where a bunch of people get in a room and talk about crap.”
“Every unit we build is looking like a duck and smelling like a duck.”
“I’m not Jesus. I can’t take seven baskets of fish and feed five thousand people.”
“Everybody is going to be singing Jingle Bells soon and that is going to jam up your work schedule.”
“Vision without funding is just hallucination.”
"You don't have a problem, when you’re in the hospital. Then you have a problem."
“We’re going to get some Draino down the lines of communication."
“I buy my syllables wholesale so I use them a lot.”
“Don't let the tail wag the dog -- unless it's the only way to keep the dog alive.”
“Traffic System Problem Statement: Traffic Sucks.”
“There is one process that does involve high voltage that could result in death, but the possibility is remote."
“His leadership style was ‘management by blowtorch and pliers’”